10 Types of Great Customers

Jul 23, 2025 by Peter | 234 views

Not all heroes wear capes—some send anonymous packages filled with horse manure. At Shitexpress, we’ve had the privilege of serving some of the most creative, quirky, and outright hilarious customers out there. These unsung legends keep our operation running, fuel our creativity, and remind us why making people laugh (or squirm) is such a worthwhile endeavor. Here’s our tribute to the 10 types of great Shitexpress customers who make our business more fun every day.

1. The Mastermind Prankster

This customer lives for the art of the prank. They don’t just send a package—they plan it meticulously. The Mastermind Prankster strategically chooses the perfect delivery date, crafts a creative (yet confusing) note, and updates us with cheerful messages about how well their “masterpiece” has played out. Whether it’s forwarding us their ex-boss’s bewildered email reaction or sending us a photo of the package sitting proudly on a doorstep, they’re always having a blast.

Their humor is next-level, and their attention to detail makes every order a joy to execute.

2. The Revenge Strategist

They say revenge is a dish best served… anonymously. The Revenge Strategist doesn’t lash out in anger—they plan their sweet, manure-filled justice with style and finesse. Your ex cheated? Shitexpress is ready. Boss didn’t approve your well-earned vacation? No worries. This customer finds the perfect occasion to “gift” their target with a surprise that speaks volumes.

Their cleverness proves that a little manure can convey a lot—without a single word spoken.

3. The Social Media Superstar

The Social Media Superstar is our unofficial brand ambassador. They post photos of their package’s glorious exterior on Instagram, craft witty captions (“When karma’s not fast enough, you speed up the process 💩”), and tag us so their fans know where to turn for their next grand gesture. They even leave reviews that sound like they’re auditioning to write our next marketing campaign.

They spread the word far and wide, turning their own followers into curious pranksters and Shitexpress enthusiasts.

4. The Loyal Joker

This customer doesn’t stop at one prank—they come back again and again, entrusting us to handle their dirty work (pun intended). You’ll recognize them by their frequent repeat orders, personalized requests (Monogrammed note? Check.), and shared stories about how much fun they’re having with our service. They’ve practically earned VIP status in the Shitexpress family.

Their loyalty helps us grow, and their creativity inspires us to continue delivering excellence, one pile at a time.

5. The Generous Gifter

When does sending poop become a generous act? When it’s done to cheer someone up or lighten the mood! The Generous Gifter isn’t always about pranks or petty revenge. Sometimes, they just want to make their loved ones laugh. Whether it’s a long-lost friend or a sibling who’s going through a tough time, this customer goes the extra mile to deliver smiles—wrapped in manure, of course.

They remind us that humor can heal, even if it comes in the most unconventional of packages.

6. The Laughing Observer

Think of that friend who doesn’t necessarily pull pranks themselves but absolutely loves hearing about them. That’s the Laughing Observer. They order on behalf of their bold buddy or simply fund pranks for others. Often, they circle back to tell us how much fun they had just watching reactions unfold.

Their vicarious enjoyment is so enthusiastic, it’s like they’ve pranked themselves into happiness.

7. The Over-the-Top Personalizer

Not satisfied with sending “just” a box of horse poop, the Over-the-Top Personalizer makes every detail count. They meticulously craft notes, agonize over handwriting styles, or even add inside jokes that only the recipient will understand. One standout example? A customer requested a specific font for their note saying, “This is the crappiest day of your life, right?”

Their attention to detail makes every order feel like a work of art.

8. The Drama-Free Delight

This customer is pure joy to work with—no over-complicated requests, last-minute changes, or frantic updates. They know what they want, and they make ordering smooth and simple. Imagine a customer placing an order with the note, “Keep it simple. Box, poop, and an unforgettable message.”

Their calm, no-fuss attitude makes our job easier during even the busiest of weeks.

9. The Meme-Lord

Armed with an endless supply of wit, this customer gives us a laugh every time. Their note instructions often look like they’ve been lifted straight from a meme page. “Make sure the box smells as strong as the victim’s bad decisions,” or “Delivery confirmation? I’m here for the chaos, not the metrics.” They’re masters of online humor, and they make it contagious.

They keep things light and fun, reminding us that laughter really is the best medicine—even if it’s a little stinky.

10. The Customer Care Sweetheart

Despite the irreverent nature of our business, the Customer Care Sweetheart reminds us that kindness exists everywhere—even when sending a prank package. They email us with requests so polite they make us want to do cartwheels. A recent favorite? “Hi there, I know this is unconventional, but could you make sure the poop is extra fresh? Thank you soooo much!”

Their gratitude makes every interaction delightful and reminds us of the human connection behind even the quirkiest services.

A Heartfelt Thank You

Great customers are what make unconventional businesses like Shitexpress thrive. Whether they’re using humor to cope, prank, or simply connect with others, these remarkable individuals make every day more exciting. We salute the pranksters, jokesters, and delight-bringers who trust us to deliver the funniest (and stinkiest) surprises around.

If you recognize yourself in one of these types, thank you! Your enthusiasm and brilliance keep us motivated to bring endless laughs—and just the right amount of mischief—to the world.

Cheers,
Your Shit Manager